When your family impacts you…

My family, beginning with my mother and, more prominently, with my eldest half-sister has or have struggled with addiction to scheduled substances.

How has this impacted me: my eldest half-sister robbed more than 20 banks in the late-1980s. This crime spree was fueled by her addiction to cocaine and her general impulse for criminality.

In my early 20s, law enforcement did not warn me of this history and allowed me to go live with my sister on 2004 to draw an association with her.

Little did I know this would encourage law enforcement to do everything they could to introduce me to scheduled substance with the objective of addicting me and enabling a criminal career. I refused to ever engage this because this is not the expression of my personality, which is friendly and overall good in it’s expression.

The first incident occurred when I resided with my sister in 2004. As I used a website – Adam4Adam – law enforcement along with my sister’s guidance, sent an unofficial informant who was a substance abuser. This was a horrifying experience and I immediately moved to New York to get away from the environment.

Once I moved to New York, there continued to be incidents where scheduled substances crossed my path and at times, I did experiment, not realizing these were setups by law enforcement. Never, now nor then, did I break the law by buying, possessing scheduled substance, paraphernalia nor selling scheduled substances.

However, given my sister’s past, these were also staged to encourage addiction. At this point I viewed law enforcement as heroic – never did I see them as the monsters they have actually been.

By not informing me of the sister’s past, law enforcement utilized my sister’s past as the standard that I was expected to follow. Never did they hol me up as the example she should have followed – how do I know? Their actions.

Furthermore, my own mental health condition in combination with a trauma impacting my expression of sexuality, law enforcement viewed these as two aspects of my personality that predicated their pursuit of me as a potential addict and criminal. It’s entirely shameful and I release and locate the shame where it belongs: with law enforcement as their deceptions and evildoing.

The greatest betrayal: not telling me about my sister and using that ignorance to persistently corrupt my efforts to find a stable relationship with a person with whom I could have built my life. Marriage is indissoluble and I do not believe in divorce.

For the last 18 years, law enforcement, their official and unofficial informants have intercepted me online using dating websites, mainly, and during staged moments in public to ply me with highly addictive scheduled substances. One agent in particular, Michael, has been especially dogged in his pursuit of me. Honestly, the conduct is something I would have seen in a sociopath or unfortunate rabid animal.

This has been indirect violation of the practice of my faith because marriage is a sacrament. The conduct has violated my Civil Rights and it has been the narrative he has used to undermine my life, pretend he’s a person of concern and goodness.

This is a profound lie – he has been the fount and steam driver of the whole assault. To say this has been enraging is one thing but to understand it as a sadness & disappointment comprises the holistic mood.

In absolute defiance of these fell expectations of law enforcement, I have turned to mediation, I have pleaded asylum to Canada, I have moved abroad, I have started yoga and I am not an addict.

NEVER will I give these monsters the satisfaction of breaking the law. NEVER will I give these cretins the negative expression of my personality. NEVER. They have never been worth it and they never will be.

Vengeance is mine saith the Lord, I will repay.

The worse these people have acted the more pity I feel for them.

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